Understanding Grief

With the death of your loved one, your life has been changed. Understanding grief as you are going through it will provide the hope that you will be able to make it through this most difficult experience.

Time. Don’t try to rush through your grief. It will take time to work through all the emotions that come with grief.

Every task is a challenge. It seems as if your world is standing still. Each task seems to be a much bigger challenge than it really is. You’re tired and you don’t want to think about anything except to deal with your pain. All of these feelings are normal.

Be patient with yourself. Some losses will affect you more deeply than others. Don’t base your current grief recovery on a prior experience.

Everyone grieves differently. Even family members who grieve the same loss will deal with their loss differently because each person’s relationship with the loved one was different.

Accept help when it is offered. When people offer to help, it is their way of dealing with their own pain over the loss. It will also allow them to share their compassion for you. Allowing others to lighten your burden, even in a very small way like running an errand, or helping to clean your house or mow your lawn, will prove rewarding for both you and your friends. Knowing you have caring friends will strengthen you.

Your faith is important. It is very personal, but those who have a personal faith draw strength from it as they endure their grief.

Will I ever have all the answers? There are always many questions surrounding a death. There will be some questions that may never be answered. In time, you will find that the best way to deal with those unanswered questions is to accept that these questions will
remain unanswered. Dwelling on them will result in prolonged anger over the death.

Join a grief support group. GriefShare is an excellent 13-week grief support series. Learning about how to deal with grief and meeting others who are at different levels and who grieve differently than you is an excellent way to realize that you can move forward in this process. Check with Heritage Oaks Memorial Chapel to find out about a GriefShare group near you.

Reflect on pleasant memories. In the beginning, you are likely to associate only sadness with thoughts of your loved one. In time, however, you will be able think about your loved one and remember the wonderful times you enjoyed together.

Why do I feel like I’m in a fog? You feel like you’re in a fog because your brain is
working extremely hard to sort through all the pain of your sorrow. As you work through your emotions and gain some understanding about your loss, the fog will lift. This may take months.

Decisions. It is wise to hold off on making major decisions for a year after a significant
loss. Many time, a decisions is made on an emotional level (in honor of the loved one), but the decision is regretted later when the bereaved is able to think more clearly and logically.

Take care of yourself. Do what makes you comfortable. If you make a commitment, make certain the others know that you may need to excuse yourself if it is too much for you.

Call 916-791-CARE (2273) or 800-316-1987 or email,

RonHarder@HeritageOaksMC.com
JimBeeding@HeritageOaksMC.com

Call, or visit, Heritage Oaks Memorial Chapel, a veteran, family-owned and operated, full service funeral home & beautiful chapel serving the areas of Rocklin, Roseville, Citrus Heights, Antelope, Fair Oaks, Carmichael, Folsom, Sacramento, Elk Grove, West Sacramento, Davis, Granite Bay, Loomis, Auburn, and Lincoln.

One Comments to “Understanding Grief”

  1. Thank you very much for the words of wisdom.

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